nanamicode | voicemail.

I did. Even if I'm not sure how it worked... how I remember a longer time than I was actually gone. Mm. I remember now.

[And he meant to do things for hope and for right, but he's getting the feeling it didn't work out that way at all. He's getting the feeling that his luck tanked him again.]

It's why I left. I had to. I couldn't stay with... [Another pause.]

[ — hinata-kun. ]

He's looking for you.

He shouldn't be. I don't want to see him.

[He doesn't want to see anyone. But especially Hinata.]

Now isn't the time to be hiding from us.

[ although firm with her words, she doesn't press on any further than this, only because she knows he will be able to find him. it doesn't seem safe at all even with his kind of luck, but for now being able to know that he's currently safe is still a relief in itself.

there's an unsettling silence on the line before she speaks up again, not wanting him to slip away from her so soon.

... ]

... Do you want to tell me what you're apologizing for? For me to draw conclusions even if I don't know anything... isn't something I want to do. [ although she doesn't really expect him to, to ask isn't a bad thing. ]

I think it might be the exact time.

[Komaeda knows it's a cowardly move, but a worthless person like him, what else can be expected?]

For doing something that I don't think turned out how I meant it to. And if that's true, the one to suffer because of what would have been you.

[A pause, before he adds.] I know I never left here. But I was back on the island. And there... I couldn't remember this place at all. The things I'd learned here. I didn't know them there.

Whatever it is... I know that you aren't the only one to blame. [ with the circumstances they were put in, it wouldn't be right to blame it all on him. however, hinata-kun said they had saved everyone.

so... why doesn't komaeda know that? ]

... Could it be that you... died? [ ... and knowing komaeda. ]

[Not the only one, well maybe not. But certainly one to blame. He hesitates a moment. Since he didn't remember it all when he went home, it's probably okay to tell Nanami.]

That's right. In that world, I'm dead.

I see...

[ so she lost one. she could have lost quite a few... but she's never asked. even if it's not a game, what happens in the stimulation are spoilers she's not sure if she wishes to have.

she doesn't know if she could forgive komaeda right now, but he's correct about something. he has changed and learned information he's lost when he went back into the stimulation. knowing the truth now, she wouldn't be able to understand if she does not experience it.

this is why people should avoid spoilers at all cost, y'know. ]

I'll give you my answer... when I go back then. Right now, we have to focus on Hinata-kun and our time together here. If I don't experience it myself then there will be misconceptions about how I view it, I think. And right now I want to make sure you're both okay. Even if you're not with us anymore... you're still alive here, and that's what matters.

[ 'because their time here is real'. a thought that's probably a bit ironic coming from nanami. ]

[Now let him spoil you all the spoilers, Nanami. Except Komaeda doesn't much feel like talking about those sorts of things any more than he has to.

So instead he falls silent.]

I don't need any answer from you, Nanami-san. I probably don't deserve one anyway.

[A faint sigh.] I'm still alive here. There's no choice but to be alive here, even knowing the truth.

[ well, he's going to get one anyways! eventually. while the answer she receives isn't ideal, it's enough for now.

... ]

Aren't you going to come back to the camp?

[The most stubborn. Komaeda really likes Nanami, has a great deal of respect for her, maybe more so after everything.]

No. I don't think I can.

[Not with Hinata there.]

Mmm... are you somewhere safe? Is it a nice place?

[ the latter is unlikely, but she will ask anyways. ]

[Despite himself, Komaeda laughs quietly.] As nice as any place in Haven, I suppose.

I'll be fine, Nanami-san. Please don't waste your time worrying about someone like me.

[ ... radio silence.

until: ] I'll see you later, Komaeda-kun.

[ she doesn't put up a fight, but her words clearly imply that he will be found. they wouldn't give up so easily, and he should know that so it's only a matter of time. only, the sooner the better. ]

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